


Put Into Words

by fishfingersandjellybabies



Category: Batman (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 07:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4657620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishfingersandjellybabies/pseuds/fishfingersandjellybabies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy asked a question, and Jason ponders over his answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Put Into Words

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr prompt, for 1000 followers.
> 
> Ah, dollface, this is so short, you deserve so much better D: Jason and Roy were just hanging out, having a lazy day. Roy had asked why Jason had his heart so set on not being in Gotham. I don’t think I followed your prompt at all, ugh, shit. Oops.

“You don’t _understand_ , Roy.” Jason sighed, slumping back in the chair. He stared blankly up at the ceiling, trying to put his words in order.

But that was impossible, because how do you explain it?

How do you explain the pure _elation_ of putting on those colors. Those mismatched stoplight hues. How do you explain the joy in jumping off rooftops. The snap of a cape behind you in the wind. The danger of a quickly approaching concrete ground.

How do you explain that shadow. The one that could engulf you entirely, but you weren’t scared of it. No, you _welcomed_ it. Because that shadow meant safety. That shadow meant protected.

That shadow meant _loved_.

And that was the biggest question of all – how do you explain Bruce Wayne? Batman? How do you explain the man who took you off the streets, gave you a home and a _family_ , and more love than you probably ever deserved? How do you explain that happiness, that contentedness in that house, with that man.

The movie nights. The snowball fights. The tender kisses. The comforting hugs. The ‘I’m proud of you’s and the ‘I’m glad you’re here’s. The smiles and the laughs. The feeling that you actually belong somewhere. That after all that time and all the rotten luck, you really did have a father, one who would take care of you like a father _should_.

And then that’s just it. Because how. _How_.

How do you explain the complete and utter heartbreak of being torn away? From life, from Bruce Wayne, from _Robin_ , from _Batman_?

How do you explain being resurrected? Coming back and finding that the man who killed you is still alive, that the man who loved you – who you _thought_ loved you – didn’t avenge you like you always thought he would?

How do you explain coming back to the place you once called your home, only to find yourself completely and wholly _replaced_?

How do you explain that sadness, how do you explain its transformation into pure, unadulterated rage?

How do you explain that it’s that… _abandonment_ that fuels every move you make?

How do you explain it? Any of it? No one would understand. Not even his best friend. Not even Roy-mother _fucking_ -Harper.

Or, so he thought.

“Oh, I get it just fine, Jaybird.” There was suddenly a hand on his knee, and a quick squeeze – more comforting than flirty. Jason rocked his head to the side, stared exhaustedly at Roy’s grim smile as he leaned forward from his perch on the couch. “Or do you still _really_ think Bruce and Ollie were all that different?”

Jason slumped further, closing his eyes with the relief of being understood without ever saying a word.

Roy. What a card. And everyone thought he was _just_ an idiot.

Silently, Jason exhaled, reached his hand out, wiggling his fingers. Quickly, Roy laughed, and handed him his beer.

“To those assholes.” Jason murmured, slowly reopening his eyes and shooting Roy a bitter grin. “May they trip over their capes and quivers.”

Roy laughed harder, bringing his own bottle of water up, and clinking it against Jason’s. “Yeah.” He chuckled wistfully. “To Bruce and Ollie.”


End file.
